GameStop Burns Gabe Newell Over His Famous Three Problem

Okay so I saw this and had to share because GameStop just went full savage mode on Gabe Newell. They literally put out a press release saying they'll help the Valve co-founder learn how to count to three. And honestly? That's the kind of corporate trolling I can get behind.

For those who don't live and breathe gaming culture, here's the deal. Gabe Newell has this legendary reputation for never releasing third installments of anything. Half-Life 2? Amazing game from 2004. Half-Life 3? Still waiting. Portal 2? Chef's kiss. Portal 3? Nope. Left 4 Dead 2? Great zombie shooter. Part three? You already know the answer.

The gaming community has turned this into a massive inside joke over the years. People spam "Half-Life 3 confirmed" whenever Valve announces literally anything. There are memes about Gabe being allergic to the number three. Some fans have legitimately given up hope after two decades of waiting.

What makes GameStop's jab even funnier is the timing. Here we are in 2025, and they're still poking fun at something that started back in the early 2000s. But honestly, props to whoever at GameStop's PR team woke up and chose violence. It takes guts for a retail company to roast one of gaming's most influential figures.

The real question is whether Gabe will respond. Knowing Valve's track record with communication (spoiler: they're terrible at it), we'll probably get radio silence. But hey, maybe this public shaming will finally get us Portal 3. A guy can dream, right?